Have just discovered the sheer extent of my vengefulness, also the reason why I don't drive (I think I might aim at people)

Our doorbell rang so I looked out the window to find Jehovah's witnesses. What did I do about this?

"Dad! Door!"

When he finally escaped, I raced out the back door in the time-honoured tradition of our street to tell mum to yell "the Jehovah's witnesses are coming!" in the direction they were headed.

I mean it'd Friday night. Why aren't they in the pub like normal people?

Yes I am aware that I'm writing this while sitting in my parents front room, on a Friday night, watching a Bond film.

I need a life. I seem have left mine in London. Hope it didn't get blown up or anything. I kind of need it.