I have a black eye. I also have to explain to people that yes, it was my boyfriend.

No, not like that. I'm just never playing on the opposite team from him again. Also, goal line clearances? So done with those. A football in the face changes your perspective somewhat. Makes it closer to the floor for starters. And I have to chair a Catholic society meeting tonight. With my black eye.

But enough of that. Go to google.com (not .co.uk), type in failure & press I'm feeling lucky. Methinks someone in google has a bit of a vendetta. But a fun one!