Today was the funeral of the last great aunt. I am not over because lol £100 plane tickets. Apparently my mum got a phone call at 10:20 am from her brother, who was supposed to be at the funeral, which started at 10. "I've been a bold boy," he said. "They left me behind!"

He was supposed to be getting a lift from another brother, who was slightly distracted by this happening to his neighbours last night and forgot. Poor uncle Gerry couldn't drive himself because he got his hip replaced a few weeks ago. He's the one who when he saw the epidural coming shouted loud enough for people the other side of the hospital to hear "THAT'S THE LAST TIME I'M GETTING FUCKING PREGNANT!"