For starters, they can't quite grasp time zones. My uncle phoned my aunt last night, forgetting it was 2am where she was. She got her revenge by returning his call at 6 this morning!

She phoned us a bit later, & finally told my mum exactly what happened to her a few weeks ago. She was standing beside an empty swimming pool, when she spotted someone behind her who had broken their leg recently. She moved to go over & sympathise, when she fell into the swimming pool & broke her leg.

Not as bad as the ultimate Royston Vasey moment in the village my dad's from. It was the anniversary of a local uprising, so they decided they had to commemorate it somehow. They settled on doing a proper re enactment on the day of the fair. They went of so much trouble getting all the details right, making sure no one would be hurt. Being a sociopathic, insular place, they made one fatal mistake. They didn't tell anyone they were going doing this.

So on the big day, when a coachload of Dutch tourists pulled into the main road, they found a large mob mostly consisting of English soldiers enthusiastically hanging a priest. They don't seem to have had any tourists since then.